Called to Childfree


My story doesn't begin with choosing to be childfree. If you hopped in a time machine and spoke to 2014 Tiffany, she would tell you she wants to be a stay at home mom. She wants two kids, to live in a nice neighbourhood, be the home all the kids gather at. Fast forward to today, I'm writing a blog and being an advocate for childfree/less women. I never could've predicted back in 2014 that I would end up here, but here I am. My husband and I tried for children. We did all the doctors appointments and all the tests to ultimately be told we would likely never have children. They offered medications and procedures, all which we turned down. We were lucky enough to get on the list for IVF and even have that fateful phone call saying it was our turn, but through lots of discussion and lots of prayer we both ultimately decided it was not a route we were comfortable taking. We never once doubted that God had the power to bless us with a child, regardless of what doctors had said, but even so we decided to have the conversation "What would our life look like if we never have children?" Paul speaks in 1st Corinthians that the best choice is to remain single if you can. "I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am." He goes on to say that if you cannot remain single, you are better to marry than to live a life 'burning with passion'. He tells the people of Corinth to remain single so they are able to serve God without any distraction. Paul makes it clear that as Christians our highest calling in life is to be of service to the kingdom, regardless of what that looks like. For some that will look like raising little ones, insuring the next generation will have strong Christians, for others it might look like being a missionary in their own neighbourhood or being a good example through their normal day job. A large part of our decision to remain childfree was being intentional about the extra time and resources we would have. If this is the path we are destined to take, if we are meant to remain a couple without kids, how will we be sure we don't live our lives just for ourselves. Our priority is to serve the kingdom the best we can and make a positive impact on others. We discussed the possibility of my husband mentoring someone in the future, whether that be through music or business. We want to be able to freely support organizations we feel passionate about, financially and otherwise. I want to continue being a voice for the childfree/childless, encouraging women to chase down their purpose, with or without children. We focused on our calling, serving the kingdom, and realized that it doesn't have to include being a parent.

As a believer I am called to be a good Christian, not a good mother. I am going to be the best woman I can be with the gifts that I have been given. For others, they will find their joy and purpose in raising littles, for us we're going to stick with raising cats. We feel at peace with our decision, and really thats all that matters. "But as it is, God arranged all the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose." (1 Corinthians 12:18)